a family is about people loving and serving each other without unhappiness or bad feelings. it's about being true to whom have showered you with love for years without you ever realizing it and taking everything for granted. i have always felt something like 'hey it's their choice to give me birth. i had never asked them to give me life or become sort of a burden to them. it's a responsibility that they chose to take up and they can't shirk it off. why should i even be thankful for something i didn't ask for (i.e. life)' while yubao was asking us to pray and thank God for my family and my parents i felt like a total loss. huh? what's that supposed to mean? It's their responsibility... but i felt a little voice telling me that sometimes God uses children to mold parents' character. same goes for children who have to deal with their ever nagging and irritating parents. (i think i need like 100 DVDs to record the length of my mum's eighteen years plus another sixteen years of nagging. gosh. she nagged more than half her life.) life is a gift that God blesses us with. to be able to feel His love, His goodness, His faithfulness, even in the family. thinking back now makes me so overwhelmed. and suddenly i realize they love me even more than i ever know. really.

and i come to realize why my mum keeps showing others all my childhood and growing up pictures, and why she even bothered to cut and arrange everything in a nice little album. it's pretty embarrassing and unglamorous, i mean seriously that's how i felt. but then come to think about it. she's so proud of me. she's so proud that she has two lovely children (i mean not praising myself but isn't it how she feels?) even if we are not perfect in many ways, and we always make her angry and worry for us. she is still so proud of me and so willing to give her youth up. yea, it's a choice. it's a responsibility she chose to take up while she can choose not to do so. and why is she willing? that i have yet to figure out.

what about my dad? he's so caring toward me. he does not go 'i love you' or stuff like that. he showed his love through his many actions. for waking up at six every morning to send me to school in his car when he could have chosen otherwise. i mean he could have slept at least two hours more every day. that's like hundreds of hours a year. and multiply that by ten years. it's astounding. it's simply amazing. he does not seem serious most of the time. but even under that joking air he is a role model in terms of behavior. he taught me a lot of things and influence me in the smallest ways that it didn't even dawn on me at all until today. his motto is 'let nature take its course'. he always laughs even when he's stressed up, down and out or even just always laughing. he taught me moses' story though he has yet to become a Christian. he knows actually more than what i think he knows.

of course, as the saying goes, we must always balance up our argument with the other side of the story. i can't be forever be singing their praises. but isn't it true that all men have fallen and are not flawless. ya right now while i am typing away they are nagging at me, but at the end of the day they still love us. that's what i realize today and why i felt like splashing all this here and sharing this with you all.

i thank God for them. and for our church. each and everyone of you are part of God's people. like how aunty june came over and help us out. thank you for coming. thank you for teaching me something today. (gosh i have to go soon, all the nagging is stretching my limits). i love you peeps. remember john 13: 34-35.

-jialer